I spend some time each day studying my birds. I receive some banter from a couple of folks who call me the Bird Man of Brownsville. I just let it roll off me like water off a duck’s back because I get a great deal of pleasure studying my birds. Sometimes, while studying them, I am struck by a relevant revelation. Now, by the title I have chosen for this piece, one might think that I am going to talk about how some people run at the first sign of danger while others duck under it. I’m not going there. While it is true that chickens run, I can tell you by my experience that ducks run first and fastest. Ducks don’t duck. They do quack loudly. And sometimes, some people act like one or the other of these birds. But we have deeper issues to dive into.

I was explaining this to my 4-year-old grandson one day. He listened to me to the end, then he asked me the darnedest thing. “Why don’t ducks roar like lions?”

“Well,” I said with an appropriate pause to give my aging brain enough time to think of an answer, a little trick grandfathers all over the globe use from time to time. “Ducks are afraid of lions because lions eat ducks. If a duck roared like a lion, it would scare itself to death.”

Aren’t kids wonderful? They have a limitless imagination, and they ignite our imagination as well. Just don’t warp the little ones’ minds too much. The school system gets mad if you take their job.

Now back to my world-shaking observations.

 There is a distinctly different social interaction between ducks and other ducks and chickens and other chickens. One would be surprised to see how this plays out, but it can only be discovered by careful observation. Ducks tend to stay in pods. Sometimes a duck will leave the pod to explore for food. The chickens will also stay together in their little flock with one occasionally wandering off to explore the great unknown parts of the backyard. In this, the two kinds of birds are similar.

Now isn’t that just like people? We have some folks who like to wander off from the rest, but they always come back to socialize. People like to have company. We like to have friends. Of course, all is not roses in these little collections of people and birds. Sometimes there are squabbles within the groups. It’s natural for there to be disagreement in the flock or in a crowd of people. However, when one group has a disagreement with another, its members will band together to give mutual support. Humans and birds are similar in this behavior.

Another observation is the way the birds treat their fellow birds. Ducks are ravenous. They eat as if it is the last food on the planet. They push and shove. They quack a lot. Chickens are a little different. They come running just as fast as the ducks at dinner time, and they tend to chase the ducks away. However, they are more cordial to their own. In fact, if a duck finds a stash of food, it gobbles it down. If a chicken finds a stash, they sing out to the other chickens. The roosters are especially gentlemanly. I’ve watched my rooster discover a nice cache of food and instead of eating, he starts clucking and singing to his girls and doesn’t eat until they arrive and have had the first pickings. What a guy!

Another thing with ducks is that the drakes are not nice to their hens. They get to wanting to breed and if the hen says “no,” they will chase her all over the yard until they viciously get what they want. Chickens are more polite and gentle. The rooster will express his desire and if the hen isn’t in the mood, she will make it plain, and he will leave her alone. Also, if one of the chickens has something stuck to their beak, one of the other chickens will clean it for them. Ducks could care less. Personal appearance means nothing to them. They will walk around the yard with a bit of grass stuck in the corner of their beak and other ducks don’t notice or care one bit if they do.

Some people act in a similar way to ducks. They push, shove, and demand and it’s every person for themselves. After they get what they want, they waddle around with a satisfied expression on their face. That is, until they see something else they want and then it’s back to push and shove.

Other people are more like chickens, polite and willing to share. Like my rooster, these people will wait until everyone is seated at the table before they dig in. In addition, they think nothing of reaching up with a napkin to remove a piece of noodle from the corner of another’s mouth. After dinner, they might strut a bit and if you offer dessert, they will come running, but as for pushing and shoving their fellows, you won’t see any of that.

 I hope that I have made the comparison between these birds and people clear. Some people are loveable cluckers and others are just old quackers. Be a loveable clucker and remove that piece of noodle from the corner of your friend’s mouth. The world will be a better place for it.

Note: In the writing of this article, no birds’ feelings were harmed by comparing them to people and their preferred pronouns were used at all times.