We have all heard it said that there aren’t enough words to say this or that. It’s one of the go to expressions in our language. I submit that anyone who says this is greatly misinformed. I looked it up. The Oxford dictionary says there are approximately 600,000 words of which 170,000 are in current use. The Global Language Monitor says there are about 1,000,000 words. Whether there are 170,000 or a million, don’t tell me words fail you because there aren’t enough words. Besides that, new words are being created all the time.

We haven’t even begun to talk about the words that have more than one meaning. There are actually quite a few. Take the word, “hold,” for instance. It can mean to grasp (1), to possess (2), to control (3), keep possession of (4), to adhere to (5), to believe (6), a manner of wrestling (7), to keep or reserve (8), to cease (9), a cavity in the lower part of a ship (10), to be able to drink liquor without effect (11), and the list goes on. With all the words with several meanings, why would we need another word, ever? Just thinking about all these meanings makes me want to see how much liquor I can hold.

There are some people who are busy trying to eliminate some of the words we use. Some people do this by censorship, a great way to deep six a basket of deplorable words. You often get a little flack for doing this, however. Some say not enough.

Other people go against the grain and the grammar Nazis by taking a series of words such as there, they’re, and their and turning all three into just one word. The problem is that this sows confusion, and even more confusion is sowed because none of them can agree to standardize which one to use for all the others. The same goes for “your” and “you’re.” But these word terrorists are a stubborn lot and continue trying to eliminate those words much to the chagrin of the grammar Nazis.

Politicians are the masters of vocabulary. Remember President Bill Clinton? He went to court to try to get a different definition of the word “is” approved. Here is what he had to say:

“It depends on what the meaning of the word ‘is’ is. If the—if he—if ‘is’ means is and never has been, that is not—that is one thing. If it means there is none, that was a completely true statement.”

 What an incredible argument to make before the Supreme Court! And so clearly spoken, too. But I don’t think anyone gave him kudos for showing how much brass he has in his balls, not even Miss Lewinsky.

The current vice president who is running for president has a feast of words to present. Her speeches are both profound and enlightening. Here is a slice from one of her speeches that can competently be compared to Lincoln’s Gettysburg address, one of the greatest and most succinct political speeches ever delivered:

“The governor and I, we were all doing a tour of the library here and talking about the significance of the passage of time, right, the significance of the passage of time. So, when you think about it, there is great significance to the passage of time in terms of what we need to do to lay these wires. What we need to do to create these jobs. And there is such great significance to the passage of time when we think about a day in the life of our children.”

Next, is a cut from one of her speeches highlighting the clarity of her thoughts:

“We will work together, and continue to work together, to address these issues…and to work together as we continue to work, operating from the new norms, rules, and agreements, that we will convene to work together…we will work on this together.”

Add some ham to these two magnificent expressions of thought and you’ll have a chef’s word salad that will dazzle the palates of everyone. Speaking of ham, we have another candidate for president this year whose intense verbiage adds dynamite to the campaign.

“I own buildings. I’m a builder; I know how to build. Nobody can build like I can build. Nobody. And the builders in New York will tell you that. I build the best product. And my name helps a lot.”

What a profound statement! Here’s another statement that seals the deal:

“I know words, I have the best words. I have the best, but there is no better word than stupid.” I am flabbergasted, but not out of words. There just isn’t enough space in this piece to put them all. I think I’ll go get a chef’s salad with lots of ham. All these words have made me hungry.